My soul has taught me how to live and let be

I am at a point in my left where I feel abundantly blessed to be me. There was a time in my life when I just could not get enough of anything. A conscious exercise of years of soul searching has landed me on a plane of contentment and gratification. Through getting to know my soul, I have this to share with you:

1. It is true what they say: Happiness begins with you
For a very long time in my life, I actively looked for happiness (literally searched for it). Now I know that happiness is a state, it can neither be devised nor chased. It's a decision that you make. Being close friends with your innerself is very key. You need to understand the child in you, the mother in you, the man in you, etc. When you need to put your foot down, don't procastinate (the result of that is the procastination of your own happiness). When you need to say no, do not be ambigous. Ambiguity creates unnecessay anxiety. Do not be rigid, try to be flexible. This is your own self, if you can't spoil your own self, your soul has no companion in you. Break the rules a little, sometimes. For instance, if it is your routine to go to church every Sunday, skipping one Sunday could be a rare treat. This can be your little secret between you, your soul and your God.

• Once in a while, I play in the rain (with my child), and just hope that the flu will understand that it's just once in a while!
• Once in a while, I exceed the speed of 120km/h on the freeway. I've tested 220 km/h. It's dangerous, but I really needed to know how it feels.
• Once in a while I play the radio on full blast! Just nje...

All that I'm saying is that allow the child in you to play once in a while.

2. I fall in love too hard and too fast: IT'S OKAY!
It's just in my nature. I'm a sucker for LOVE! I have to love you to kiss you. But then, it is also not so difficult for me to let go. I have to feel the love back, or else I'm out of that relationship fast! I don't hold grudges where love is concerned. It makes no sense to me to hate you for not loving me enough. Love is an emotion you can't dicttate to anyone! All relationships are trial and error at the beginning. Jus be sure to use protection as you are busy with your trials.

3. There is only one me, and the only life I have is the one I have right now
Some people feel that I tend to over share on my blog. One guy I like feels that it's a bit weird because on the blog I think I am brutally honest with myself. Look, I've spent a fair share of my life hiding my true feelings about various things. That has never brought me any joy as I've always felt that when I misrepresent the truth about me, I'm actually satisfying someone else other than me. I've never liked being bullied. So lying about myself feels like I am actually letting society bully me about how I choose to be known.

I've gotten to know me because that is who I spend time with when I'm happy, sad or angry! I can never know how to be you because I will never know which part of you is fake and which part is real.

Neither can I wait for tomorrow to be me. I have to be me now. Why postpone?

4. A bit of self-confidence won't kill you, BELIEVE ME!
Between you and me, if I am shy, then you get to shine because you have chosen to be the confident one. Why on earth would I let that happen? Í have learnt to speak up during meetings. If I have someting to say, I will say it during the meeting, not after the meeting. This has helped me push boundaries significantly. I now feel valued as an employee. I contribute with pleasure and at no pressure. It is also easy to accept when I have flopped, because I know I have shown people the best of me, so when I drop the ball,I only have myself to blame.

5. Do take risks once in a while
Life without risks can never be exciting. I have recently lost a bit of weight. Besides, I spent manty years moaning and bickering about this and that and forgot to live during that time. My wardrobe suffered the most as a result. When I started on my new job (mind you new job, new town, new people), I knew that if I wanted to command, the first thing I needed to work on is my wardrobe. I had no budget for this rather costly exercise. Just once, I chose to skip paying rent and other major things and went on a shopping spree! The result...a bickering landlord who can't evict me for missing rent just once, and a new found confidence as I change my stilletos everyday!

6. Get over yourself and live life!
Recently, a very close friend of mine invited us to her uMemulo in Richards Bay. I't been a year since I saw some of our crew members since my move to the Eastern Cape. When I received the invitation, I felt sad that I do not have a good enough car to carry me to Richards Bay. The Rand was also a bit on the low side and I could not afford booking flights! Then I had an AHA moment when I saw Citilner Bus prices! I booked immediately. The only problem is that Citiliner goes only as far as Durban. To proceed to Richards Bay I took a taxi! As soon as I got there, there was only laughter. We reminisced about the good and the bad times. We danced and sang the whole night! The B&B people had to chase us out because we just could not get ourselves to leave! We played in the water, posed for photos like small children! I am smiling as I think about that outing. Imagine if I had felt that I was too good to board a Citiler or even a taxi for that matter! I would have missed out on this beautiful experience!