The list of my all time favourite albums includes Oldies such as Millie Jackson, Candi Stanton (Here I am ), Joan Amatrading, Cindi Lauper, Shirley Brown, Olletta Adams, Petti Labelle, Kool and the Gang...you get the picture neh! Local Oldies would include Sankomota, Stimela, Soul Brothers, Mahlatini and Mahotela Queens, Stompi Mavi, Joy (Paradise Road), Juluka, etc. My brother Xolile always teases and calls my taste of music 'Clicks' music...apparently it is the kind of music you will hear when at a Clicks/Pick 'n Pay in-house radio shows.

That's it...I really think that more often than not I am misunderstood for not willing to conform. Believe you me, many a times I have tried this conforming thing, but I fail dismally!

I have tried straightening my hair (about 10 years ago)...I swear I looked like Aunt Jane from years yonder!!! I tried the weave about three years ago. I went to a posh salon in Polokwane for the weave....I got really good compliments from my friends....apparently I looked like Noleen Maholwana Sangqu! With all the goodness this hairstyle came with, I could not stand the way it used to make me forget my manners! The itchiness that would come with it would send my fingers to scratch, at times in the middle of important business meetings with very important people. It had to go, three weeks was too much!

Then came my chiskop...this for me was a time of bliss. I needed no showercap when getting in the shower. Vaseline Blue Seal petroleum jelly was good enough to bring a good shinehead! I even mastered the art of shaving my own head! This one hairstyle brought me closer to my partner as all that he needed to do was brush my head for our minds to meet...and sometimes he could achieve more than a mere meeting of the minds ;-) ...if you get my point!

Now, as of this moment, I keep my hair natural....literally! I shower from head to toe! Hairfood is all I need after that...no comb....my fingers are my comb! Once in a while I will be spotting cornrows...but the torment of someone puliing my hair for two hours is rarely justifiable!

What do all these tendencies make me? A village girl (Which I am)? A hippy? I couldn't care if you asked me!

It's not the hair alone by the way that renders me a different kind of a woman! For years I endured suffering simply for being a conformist! You see, whilst I enjoyed the end result of alcohol, the feeling of being tipsy that is (intoxication in virtual terms), it took me a long time to settle for what makes me really happy! I used to drink the likes of 'Savanna and family'...endured the after effects of carrying a heavy head the following day! What about the fact that these were a very reliable laxative the following day! I let this happen to me until I discovered and acquired the taste of Heineken! Twelve dumpies do not guarantee you a bad day the following day....you wake up as if you never spent the night and a quarter of the morning at the Cubana Lounge! Yes, you will endure the funny looks from guys and dolls that are this year's judges of 'Junkee of the Year'....but wena mos you know that's one competition you did not enter!

I don't know if there is something I'm missing by not being a conformist...you tell me....like if each one of us had their own planets...would you visit my planet???

Please don't get me wrong! I conform with everything else that makes our world a better place....like I wash my dog, I pray, I eat meat (not just leaves), I use tissue oil on my stretch marks (for years now...but they are still there...lol), oohh yes....like many people I know...I call cool drink cold drink---not because I don't know---just nje!

Khanya leaves Jozi

Have you ever boarded the wrong taxi? I have. It's one of those moments when you feel like everone else is smarter than you, including the taxi driver (you know how we all agree that taxi drivers are sworn idiots---you'd swear they are of the same mother). Well, at this moment, you are the doff one and he is the smart one---and ohh yes---he will make you feel it! You will get out of that taxi with your invisible tail between your legs!

But that is not the focus of my story today! I was probably just picking your brain. What I want to tell you today is that my life has taken a different form! Pleasantly so! Never in any of my fantasies have I ever fancied living in Alice, despite it being my hometown. This little town has a beautiful history. The likes of Nelson Mandela, Mangosuthu Buthelezi, Robert Mugabe, Z.K. Matthews, John Tengo Jabavu, Nomzamo Winnie Mandela, and a whole lot of people who feature prominently in the political history of this country---all these people received their enlightenment from institutions based in this sleepy town. I, myself received my colours from KwaSomgxada, KwaNocollege----the black and gold University of Fort Hare!

But history seems to be the only thing beautiful about this town. You see, this is a town that yet has to experience the erection of traffic lights on one of it's streets; the only fast food outlet is an unknownbrand called 'Champs'. I have had to fall in love with 'Champs', and I swear it tastes better than KFC---they are generous on the chips as well!

However, the serenity that oozes out of eDikeni cannot be compared to anything. The humble nature of the local people is priceless. Here, people still live life without the pressure of running with mice chasing air (rat race). Here, the urgency is only the ability to buy 12,5 kg mealie meal/sugar/flower. Cooking oil here is called fish oil. Every washing powder is called Omo.

A simple drive from town to my village requires extreme vigilance. Stray animals are a norm. The cows here chillax on the road after noon, you would swear they own the road.

My village is right below the Hogsback mountain. The picturesque view offered by this gift of nature makes you want to praise the Lord everyday. The sun shoots out of this mountain like it was in hiding and when it sets, the horizon becomes a dusty red and makes you want to carry your camera all the times waiting for the sun to set.

The Tyhume river is one other free gift of nature. The waterfalls confirm a staunch relationship between iTyhume and iHogsback. After a heavy rainfall, the sound of water falling into the river is one you will never forget. My brother once said if he ever had to suffer from amnesia, all we need to do is take him to eTyhume after a rainfall...his memory will be ignited like a fire!

If you fancy a buzz, the drive to East London is just over an hour. However, the meander of the road lined by beatiful villages of iXesi, uQoboqobo, iDimbaza, iQonce, iMount Coke makes you want to say 'Thank you Lord for the eyes you have blessed me with'. After such enjoyment, your destination is the beautiful Orient Beach. This beach makes me do things i will not do anywhere else but there...Here, my Speedo swimming costume is worn with pride without a kanga or cycling tights! As a 40 plus...people think you should be hiding your thighs till you rich your grave! I refuse!

Jozi has been kind to me...but I think I have over stayed my welcome! I leave with peace in my heart. I will miss the abundance of choice---Spar/Woolworths/Pick 'n Pay all within a walking distance! I will miss my Phuza Thursdays at Cedar Square/Design Quarter/Rosebank Hotel, the Balailaka, etc. I will get a break from the crazy traffic jams...do you know it takes me 2 hours to get to work in the morning---a distance of 18km! I will not miss the concrete jungle---there is construction everywhere!!! I will miss the sight of construction workers showing off their tight chests---ohh yes! I will miss amawotwana neshisanyama!---Chicken feet is not considered a noble thing to eat eKoloni!

In Jozi we've been trained to accept a standard of 3m x 4m for a bedroom! Nonsense! I am house hunting for a house that talks to me---it talks to me if it has high ceilings, wooden floors, Victorian windows---you get my gist!

Lira says in one of her songs 'Ndiyahamba mna, sukundinqanda! Ndidikiwe, sendivile'! Akutsho mna kutsho uLira....but this time....her song makes so much sense...to me at least!

Now do you I understand what I mean when I say I feel like I'm in a wrong taxi?
Everyone around me seems to know their destination but me!