I'm back in circulation...where is my Prince Charming?

Being back in circulation has proven to be somewhat a challenge. Not that I expected to be cruising immediately after I found myself in singlehood, but hell, I did not expect the challenges
I have encountered thus far.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a hurry to be right in the dating department, neither do I accept that I will have to kiss frogs before finding the right one.

You see, I come from the old school regime, where it is an unwritten rule that a good girl deserves a prince, a charming one at that. Growing old alone is not an appealing scenario to girls my age. It does not matter how many times you have been bitten, you will not be shy double the amount. I come from a generation that believes that you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself and carry on with your business. Now if we consider the age issue, in my case, with only one year left for me to no longer be considered youth, time is not on my side. Yes, because, I have to find this Prince, study him and decide if he is the one.

The other complication is that, with my generation (70's), falling in love is an important factor. It is almost like we do not have a choice. I see that it is not necessarily the case with the 80's generation, which makes life move much faster for them. You see, the 80's kids use a combination of logical aspects to arrive at their final 'Prince charming' choosing decision. Amongst many aspects, the following seem to take prescedent: social standing, bank balance, family name (unknown surnames tend to fall behind), etc.

My generation tends to focus on rather mundane factors: is he religious ('cos I do want to be umama webhatyi yase Weseli one day you know!); does he have style (we tend to shy away from men who can't dress to save their souls); is he traditional ('cos I do want my traditional wedding, where I will be officially dressed in my sishweshwe and be given a new name); is he well read (he can be a poorly paid journalist, but hey we read Sunday Papers together and he knows the history of the ANC); is he well socialised ('cos I need people to come to our Sunday braais or else who are we going to share our Jameson with?).....I'm sure you get the gist of the point I'm trying to make!

Back to where I started....I refuse to have to kiss frogs before I discover my 'Prince charming'. The reality is that most men my 'dating age' (from 3 years younger to 15 years older) are married, may be not happily so, bu they are nonetheless taken. It is mostly these men that will show an interest. Logically, if I want to find my soulmate to grow old with, I cannot be wasting my time with a married man. Ha ha, yes, I'd like to provide a responsible sounding reason for not feeling comfortable dating a married man, but that's it for now.

If the guy is not married, he is a confused recently divorced, looking for a comforter kind of a man. He will spend the first few weeks trying to impress you with his eloquent knowledge of the restaurantia culture, taking you to exquisite dining venues, impressing you with his appreciation for good wine, etc. Together you attend interesting events such as motor racing, attend theatre and exchange books. Just as you begin to think that, "ooh, it is not that difficult mos to find the right one", then he drops a bombshell! He starts telling you his sordid stories, how his divorce left him broke; how he has had to give up his car for his ex-wife's use; how he cannot afford accomodation because he is paying the bond for the house he left for his ex-wife and children, blah, blah, blah.....then you start thinkin, "It is time to run."

If you happen to meet a single, never been married guy...you are lucky if he is not obsessed with Glenfidich; Johhny Walker, etc. This guy will spend not less than R600 on a single bottle of a 15 year old single malt whisky, and on average, they kill not less than 4 bottles per weekend with his friends. He is likely to be drving a 5 series; Q7; Range Rover Supercharge; etc.....of course these cars still belong to the bank! His face is somewhat 'ripe' from all the whisky. He is very stingy....he has every excuse in the book why he thinks there is something wrong with guys who buy flowers for their women. But you and me know that the only reason is that he is actually struggling to maintain his flashy lifestyle, by now he is probably blacklisted for not affording to pay for the garden services, ADT security services, etc.

Do you understand where I'm coming from? Why can't I meet the right one from the word go? Tell me why??? You see the time I waste checking all the above types out is rather precious time to me! When I am with you at the Balalaika cigar lounge at 20:00 on a Thursday evening, it means my two kids had dinner without me...it means homework goes unchecked...it means the nanny has to work extended hours...it means I missed out on seeing my beloved Suffocate on Rhythm City; it means I miss out on seeing Paul Mashaba's sweet looking lips on Generations; it means I won't find out the next Xhosa person that Andile has managed to track down on Khumbulekhaya....eish on the topic of Khumbulekhaya, do you notice how 80% of the show is dominated by missing people from the Eastern Cape? I've been asking myself, why? I have resolved that it is one of two reasons: 1) Xhosa men and women are generally irresponsible and will not think twice to leave their offspring to in search of the 'good life' eGoli; or 2)The Xhosa nation is the most caring, they will not leave a single stone unturned to find their long lost brother/sister, while other nations couldn't give a hoot!

Back to my story...if you are going to hook me up with anyone, or if any guy that happens to read my blog has an interest me they have not been able to convey, the following must be noted:
1. I am in the market and I'm looking;
2. Chancers will be spotted very quickly, so don't even think of playing the Lotto with me;
3. I do place a lot of importance on how you look. My friends will tell you, I have never had an ugly boyfriend...by the way my looks have nothing to do with anything...we are talking about you here;
4. If you did not scheme through this blog, then you already know what I am looking for;
5. Giving me your business card is not a good idea, because I am still the type that waits for the guy to make the first move;
6. No, I will not have a weave...hoping that I will when I meet you is futile;
7. No tenderpreneurs please....I want the REAL DEAL;
8. Expect that it will not takemore than 1 month for my status to change from Nyatse to 'Main Main'...your current girl will have to accept that this 'hot mama' came and stole your heart...she is not the fisrt person to be dumped, she must move on and not call you for a cup of coffee so you can talk;
THE REST IS NEGOTIABLE....I'm not that unreasonable!