2010 has been somewhat eventful, though in a rather sublime manner than I had initially expected. Whilst we have seen major events taking place, including the FIFA Wold Cup hosted in our country, very little has succeeded in lifting the usually jovial mood of most South Africans. Perhaps I should rather stop generalising and limit my view to my closest acquintances.
On the career front, all I've really witnessed is everyone just trying to juggle their day to day challenges ranging from finances to relationships. Lately, it is really not strange that during lunch, just when you chew on that juicy drumstick bone from your Wollies quarter leg, a colleague will request you to answer their phone and pretend to be their assistant or something lesser than her own position. This being something not perculiar to you does not really surprise you as you have done it yourself, several times nogal. "Khanya's phone hello," is what you will say. "Hello Mam, I'd like to speak to Nokanyanyano Jili, please," the voice on the other side will say. At this point you already know that the caller is no acquintant of your colleague, evident from the struggle in pronouncing her name, a name that no one ever calls her by anyway. You decide that it is one of two possibilities, a debt collector or at best a tele-markerter. "Miss Jili is in a meeting mam, would you like to leave a message?" At this juncture everyone on the table is giggling, understanding exactly what is going down. Then you go on pretending as if you have the pen and paper that she wishes you have to jot down the reference number, etc, etc. I don't know about other people, but witnessing other people going through such challenges, gives a peace of mind. No, not that I rejoice in the suffering of other people, but at least I'm not alone!
The best time at work was when I encountered a printout left by a colleague on the communal printer. This was a rather very sensitive document, which it wouldn't have been had it perhaps belonged to me or any other colleague I like. This document, with her signature on it mind you, revealed that she had requested a rather very ridiculously high amount for a salary advance. This was just another confirmation that 'kunzima nakwaMakhelwane'.
On the social front, it is not uncommon for my friends to call me and ask me what I am up to, 'just as a fun question' by the way, with no intention to offer a solution if I reveal that I have no plans for the whole day, the whole week including its weekend, and yeah especially this winter, were it not for the World Cup, I would have had no plans for at least a whole month. The conversation is likely to move on to an update on the last conversation. While the last time you spoke, which is likely to be just the previous week, she could have told you about this guy she went out on a date with. She went on and on about how this one could be the one but she just does not want to rush into things. Today she sadly informs you that 'Mr could be the one' has been scrapped off the roll of candidates. The reason given is almost similar to the reason you gave about why you are no longer interested in that guy you met at one of the glitzy gala dinners you are so tired of attending. "Hhayi my friend, there is no substance in that man....all he talks about is this deal and that deal he is struggling to knock down".
As a phenomenal woman, I have friends from different eras of my life. I have friends from high school. We went to a Dominican convent boarding school in the outskirts of Durban. This is a group of friends I spent a good five years of my life with. These are people who know me as a 'Politician wannabe, an avid reader, a story-teller, lazy, food lover, first to cry, etc.....I have danced in the rain with these girsls, we have sung in the shower renditions of Mariah Carey, Boyz II Men, Michael Bolton.....
The other group is friends I met at Wits, during my one year stint in the mid-90's (yeah I'm old neh). I have known these girls for a good 15 years. They no my ambitious side. They have seen me in my worst of times. They have crashed my house to give me a talk on how I have neglected myself (yah...it happens to the best of us), they have listened to me lying about how okay I am...jah, we have spent many weekends together....where we discuss nothing but who was the the worst drunk last night...who is likely to be an alcoholic needing our endless support when we have retired....every diva needs friends like my friends believe you me!
Then in the ten years of my working life, I have had 7 jobs. It goes without saying that, yes, I have picked at least one friend at every organisation I have worked at. These are people who only know the new me. The me I have moulded. The me that has endured the tribulations of adult life. They don't know me when I was a faithful little girl who had never seen a man's third leg until the age of 18. They don't know me whem I had a flat stomach to a point of being called 'Ilamba lidlile'! Hehehe....we come far hey!
All these experiences with my friends from different eras of my life keep me motivated to stay 'my own person'.
The August issue of True Love has an article contributed by a reader Coslina Malope. She lists there 4 rules that she has decided to name 'The diva rules'.
1. Get the chase on
A woman shouldn't want a man more than a man wants her. A man cannot appreaciate something he did not conquer. I fully agree that as a woman, a diva at that (GBPY), there is nothing more enjoyable than being wooed, chased and pampered in the name of love!
2. Stay your own person
Don't brag about his contacts - they are not yours to brag about. She says a true diva cannot a be a success by association-----true that!
3. Don't lose yourself in a relationship
I love my maskandi music, I will not be apologetic for having a Soul Brothers music collection. Yes, the Village Pope gives me the goose bumps, especially when he leads Sankomota! Don't get me started with Ray Phiri and Stimela! Don't ask me why I play Pro at my age---I have an ear for hip hop....kwa kwa kwa!
4. Don't fake it
She says don't have sex unless you want to. If he laid it wrong for you, and you still called his clan name, then why should he do anything different next time....need I say more??? This could be one of the reasons why my bed is cold this winter (have an electric blanket phobia).
I remember a conversation I had with friends, when we were remeniscing about how we have been good girls, asking ourselves what we had to show for that....tenacity....yes tenacity! Though I'm not sure how that warms you up at night!
Jah, I still dance in the rain and sing in the shower! Does that make me a happy diva....well.......
Cheers friends!
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